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Rules for the Non-Military
Dear Civilians,
We know that the current state of affairs in
our great nation has many civilians up in arms
and excited to join the military. For those of
you who can't join, you can still lend a hand.
Here are a few of the areas where we would like
your assistance:
1. The next time you see any adults talking (or
wearing a hat) during the playing of the National
Anthem - kick their ass.
2. When you witness, firsthand, someone burning
the American Flag in protest - kick their ass.
3. Regardless of the rank they held while they
served, pay the highest amount of respect to all
veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly
pull them aside and explain how these veterans
fought for the very freedom they bask in every
second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices
these veterans made to make this Nation great.
Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks
their ass.
4. (GUYS) If you were never in the military,
DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing battle dress
uniforms (BDUs) or Jungle Fatigues, telling others
that you used to be Special Forces, Collecting
GI Joe memorabilia, might have been okay when
you were seven years old. Now, it will only make
you look stupid and get your ass kicked.
5. Next time you come across an *Air Force* member,
do not ask them, 'Do you fly a jet?' Not everyone
in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance deserves
an ass-kicking (children are exempt).
6. If you witness someone calling the US Coast
Guard 'non-military', inform them of their mistake
- and kick their ass.
7. Next time Old Glory (the US flag) prances
by during a parade, get on your damn feet and
pay homage to her by placing your hand over your
heart. Quietly thank the military member or veteran
lucky enough to be carrying her - of course, failure
to do either of those could earn you a severe
ass-kicking.
8. Don't try to discuss politics with a military
member or a veteran. We are Americans, and we
all bleed the same, regardless of our party affiliation.
Our Chain of Command is to include our Commander-In-Chief(CinC).
The President (for those who didn't know) is our
CinC. Regardless of political party. We have no
inside track on what happens inside those big
important buildings where all those representatives
meet. All we know is that when those civilian
representatives screw up the situation, they call
upon the military to go straighten it out. If
you keep asking us the same stupid questions repeatedly,
you will get your ass kicked.
9. "Your mama wears combat boots" never
made sense to me - stop saying it! If she did,
she would most likely be a vet and therefore could
kick your ass!
10. Bin Laden and the Taliban are not Communists,
so stop saying "Let's go kill those Commies!"
And stop asking us where he is! Crystal balls
are not standard issue in the military. That reminds
me- if you see anyone calling those damn psychic
phone numbers, let me know, so I can go kick their
ass!
11. "Flyboy" (*Air Force*), "Jarhead"
(*Marines*), "Grunt" (*Army*), "Squid"
(*Navy*), "Puddle Jumpers" (*Coast Guard*),
etc., are terms of endearment we use describing
each other. Unless you are a service member or
vet, you have not earned the right to use them.
Using them could get your ass kicked.
12. Last, but not least, whether or not you become
a member of the military, support our troops and
their families. Every Thanksgiving and religious
holiday that you enjoy with family and friends,
please remember that there are literally thousands
of soldiers, sailors, marines and airmen far from
home wishing they could be with their families.
Thank God for our military and the sacrifices
they make every day. Without them, our country
would get it's ass kicked.
It's the Veteran, not the reporter, who has given
us the freedom of the press.
It's the Veteran, not the poet, who has given
us the freedom of speech.
It's the Veteran, not the community organizer,
who gives us the freedom to demonstrate.
It's the Military who salutes the flag, who serves
beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by
the flag, who allows the protester to burn the
flag.
ONE MORE
13. If you ever see anyone either standing for
or singing the national anthem in Spanish - KICK
THEIR ASS.
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